Why can't you get a pterodactyl use the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

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a giraffe walks into a bakery, "can I have 101 brown loafs please?" the baker answers: "hmm I've got only 100 loafs is that ok too?" the giraffe says: "why the hell would I need a 100 loafs?!"

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

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What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

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Wait, I am sleepy as the world which spawned you Nero, but which comment is mine again?

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

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why couldnt the man run because he had no legs

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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What's funnier than a joke book? 2 joke books.

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What is three times more dangerous than war? Three Wars.

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok,

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

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How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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Guess what? I like trains.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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What do you say when a black person is walking through wal-mart? Prisoner

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What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

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Why couldn't the man open his car door for the women? He drove a jeep with removable doors

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A woman walks into a bar and asks for a duck. The bartender is confused, assumes the women has some sort of mental problem, and treats her nicely, as his sister suffers from Down's Syndrome.

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Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

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What's black, white and red all over? A cow after slaughter.

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Friends are like trees, if you deprive them from water they'll die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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