Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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The Oakland Raiders

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Q) What is the difference between an elephant and a toaster? A) Do you seriously not know the difference between an elephant... and a toaster?

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Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

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Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

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What do you call a dead black person? A corpse.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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who's a slut... you're mom

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Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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why did the girl go into the kitcen? she was preparing a meal for her well safisticated family which had not ate dinner yet that day.

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what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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Whats the difference between a baby and my freezer? I don't stick my meat in the freezer!

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

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What do you call something that lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know, but that seems like an improbable circumstance.

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The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

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Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

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What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

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A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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How many mathematicians does it take to count?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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