A duck walks into a bar. The bartender-"Hey we don't serve your kind here!" The duck-"What ducks?" The bartender -"No Jewish"

Why did little Jimmy eat his finger ? He was hungry.

why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

YouTube comment: If I get a cent for every pixel on the screen. I would have... $960 for a 224p video $2049.6 240p video $1296 for a 270p video $2304 for a 360p video $4099.2 for a 480p video $9984 for a 520p video $9216 for a 720p video $20736 for a 1080p video $125829.12 for a 2304p video ... I would be RICH!!

Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

what did the little girl do after drinking a smoothie? she choked and died a painful death.

What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

A crazy priest squats down and poops in the middle of the church... nobody understood what was going so they pointed and laughed.

How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

What do you call a black person who drives a plane? A pilot.

what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

What did the young girl get for Christmas? Violently raped and murdered by her abusive father.

what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

Hello, nice to meet you.

Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, most likely, the chicken escaped from a near by ranch or farm. Upon escaping, he may have simply wandered in the direction of the road, and hence crossed it. Or, with chickens having great curiosity, may have been attracted to something on the other side of the road and felt the urge to explore. Depending on the demographics of the area in which road was in, the chicken had different chances of being hit by an automobile. That's why.

What do you a a toilet with fecal matter in it? A toilet.

Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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