Q: What did the mime say to the crowd gathered at the crime scene? A:

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A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

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Wumbo

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What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sargeant John Smith mam. I regret to inform you that your husband died in the line of fire - I'm sorry.

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

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I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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Why? Because racecar.

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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Why do people discriminate against black people? Because they show an undeserving amount of disrespect towards the rest of the world and why should they get anything better than what they offer.

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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wats worse than gettin bitched at by ur mom? gettin raped by a giant scorpian n getting SUPER ULTRA MEGA AIDS

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Your carpol will be here soon! What a pool for cars is coming?

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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What is the difference between obama and a hobo. NOTHING

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What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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