What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

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A man walked into a bar. What did he say? Ouch.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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Your mother is so fat.... I am happy to see her join our exercise group.

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What's worse than women's rights? Actually, not much, because women throughout history suffered for too long the hardships of over dominant male figures and deserve the freedoms they have achieved today.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

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What's the biggest difference between the East and West Coast? About 3,000 miles.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why, but I was standing on the other side of the road and I took it home and mamed the chicken with a powerdrill.

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A guy and a girl had sex, it was casual.

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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What has 4 legs and doesn't bark? A dead dog.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

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(Man #1): Do you know how I know you're gay? (Man #2): How? (Man #1) When I kiss you, you kiss me back...

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

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What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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