Bill: Heydidyouknowlosersaywhat Donny: What? Bill: Loser

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A flight attendant walks up to a black man on a plane. She then asks if he would like anything to drink.

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A man builds a time machine but can only travel back in time. Where does he go? Irrelevant. Time and space exist on different planes.

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White guy: I figure she's a gold digger, my neighbor. Black guy: Did you say the N word?

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Q. whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A. I dont jump on my trampoline with metal cleats.

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Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

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Why was the mexican ugly? -UR MOM!

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having a Hippo give you head.

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Haikus are easy But they often dont make sense flying flamingos

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below! no

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

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what happens when a panther and a gorilla fight? i dont know i never seen it before.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

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What did Tom get for his 5th Birthday ? Nothing, he died when he was 2 years old

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What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

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Why did the boy cry? His Parents died.

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What's worse than being shot? Being shot twice.

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An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

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what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

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Do gingers have souls ? No, Gingers are a myth made up in the 13th centuary to scare little kids.

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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