A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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Have you seen Whitney Houston's new house? Neither has she.

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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You're so sweet I have diabetes

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

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I've just been struck by an enormous bolt of lightning. I am covered in boils and my house is full of frogs. I strongly recommend that when referring to God, always use the upper case 'H' on all personal pronouns.

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What is the difference between a priest and a nun? Cant you see the nun is dead you insensitive bastard!

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no really what are ur names?

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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What do you call an argument between a Jew and a German? World War 2

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A wise man once said...... I am a wise man

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Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

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What's black, white and red all over? A cow after slaughter.

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I can count to potato.

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Q #1: Why did Sally fall off the swings? A #1: She has no arms. Q #2: Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally.

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He drowned.

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Why did the ceiling fall down? Because there weren't any walls.

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what is the difference between batman and a black guy. bat man is white

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"Your invited!" "Invited to what?" "I can't tell but everybody you know." " He he."

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Why couldn't the boy watch the R-rated movie? Cuz he was blind.

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Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

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A black man walks into a bar The bartender tells him they don't serves blacks The black mans calls the Police and the bartender is arrested for Discrimination

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Roses are red, Bacon is brown, this poem makes no sence, BACON!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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