An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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There is a bus driving down the street, suddenly a man jumps out of the buss and splatters on to the sidewalk, why does he jump out? the buss driver was asian

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You're a country without the "tree". Did you just call me a cunt?

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What do you call a rabbit with carrots in its ears? Anything, it can't hear you!

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Alternate ending for children: Despite the massive trauma that the spider suffered from his fall and the sheer volume of rain in the confined space of a pipe, it made a miraculous recover due to the sun coming out. It was however, forever doomed to repeat this cycle of undeath for ever more. [L]

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

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Roses are red Violets are blue And so avatars And so is blue paint

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- What do you call a black man who drives a bus? - An african american bus driver.

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Why did the Hispanic woman cheat on her husband? Because he couldn't maintain an erection, was boring, and collected stamps.

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your mother is a well respected woman in society and makes delicious cookies.

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There once was a student named Bob. Every morning he would rush to his job. But one day there was rain, He slipped in front of his train, There used to be a student named Bob.

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what do you call a Puerto Rican with no arms? Trust worthy

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A pterodactyl walks into a bar, bartender says "What'll you have." To which the pterodactyl graciously replies "RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRR." Because pterodactyl's do not speak English.

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Whats so bad about all the black people in the world dying? The police would be out of a job.

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My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

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A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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roses are red violets are blue, every 1 looks at you and call u a fool

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Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

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why do muslims always turn to their left? Because they don't have their rights.

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Why was the 18 year old white male late for his college class. On his way to college he got in a car accident and killed 5 people and he walked away unharmed

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why did the little girl throw a clock out of the window? because she wanted to see time fly

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-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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