Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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What is x + 12 That is impossible because you can't add letters

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Why are u crying?

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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What's worse than Patrick in a blender. Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, idk.

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What is black and has no education A tire.

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How do you confuse a blonde? To get to the other side

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Your Mother

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why does paul mccartney not wear shoes? cause a nigga stole it

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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What do you call a black man on a bike? Environmentally friendly.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? I don't know. The woodchuck won't chuck wood.

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In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

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You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

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WHATS THE BEST AVENUE TIN SHACK AVENUE

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how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

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What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

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Jesse is so fat, his weight on his scale says " hahaha gotta love childhood obesity"

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Your mother is so obese, that when shot with a high velocity round from a handgun, the bullet is unlikely to penetrate the several layers of fat protecting her vital organs, like a fleshy kevlar vest. However, she is likely to die from infection, which is highly commom among gunshot wounds.

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A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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How many Jews can you fit in a one-person car? --One in the drivers seat, 30 million in the ashtray

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A chronic hemophilliac walks into a bar. He cuts himself and bleeds to death.

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Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

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how to you confuse a blonde you ask her to recit the alphahbet back words

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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