Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

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a man walks in to a bar he says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey laugh" so he goes in there and makes it laugh and gets a free beer ant then the next day he goes in and says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey cry" so he goes in there and makes the horse cry and the bartender says " i will give you a free beer but first tell me what you did to make my donkey laugh and cry" the man says " first to make the donkey laugh i told the donkey i had a bigger penis than him then to make him cry i showed him

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Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

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What happened when a black lady sat in the front on a bus? She didn't vomit because she could see the road, which helped with her motion sickness. Also the driver got in a better mood because he had company, and the lady was a pleasant person.

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What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

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What's invisible and smells like carrots ? Rabbit Farts

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What's red and shiny? Not the holocaust

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Why is my son hungry? Because he didn't eat lunch.

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HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

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Q. How do you make your dog stop barking? A. Take it to the grocery store. Replace it with any popsicle in the fridge.

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Finding this website has distracted me and has taken up a large majority of my time.

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A Palestinian woman walks into a library. She is promptly stoned to death.

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What is brown and sticky? A Stick

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's genitals to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

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When geese fly south, why is one side of the V usually longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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What do you call someone who is unwilfully forced into a life of emotional abuse and domestic violence? My daughter.

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no

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what do you call a fat man standing in the middle of the street a fat man

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What did the black man get for Kwanza? AIDS

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How are Lamborghinis and piles of dead babies alike? I don't have either in my garage. Except for the pile of dead babies.

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You know whats funny Aids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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