A giraffe walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?!" to witch he replied " I've just been mugged outside.".

the story below is a truee story...unfortunately!!!!!!!!! :'(

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

A Mormon walks into a bar.

I've lost my electron!! Are you sure? Yes! I'm Positive!

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Who the hell are you?

What crawls on the ground and shoots arrows? Legless Legolas.

why couldn't the blonde change the lightbulb? she couldn't find the leperchaun at the end of the rainbow

Q. How do you stop a clown from smiling? A. You hit it in the face with an axe.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a dead baby joke? Dead baby jokes aren't funny.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My heart skipped a beat, I'm dead.

What's big, hairy and smells like sweat? The big show after a hard days work in the ring.

Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

why wouldn't the printer work? because there was an animal in it.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died from chlamydia.

What does an Ethiopian hula-hoop with? A Cheerios JimBoto

what do you call a small midget? a smidget.

Roses are red Violets are red Your flowers are red Yes set your garden on fire

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

- Wanna see a magic trick? - Sure - Too bad. I don't know any.

What did the korean guy order at the deli? A sandwich

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...