What do you call a man hit by a bus? Dead

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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What would Jesus do? Something that would in getting nailed to a piece of wood.

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Why did the house burn down? Obama

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Whats the difference between a garage full of dead babies and a garage full of money? I don't have a garage full of money

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Why did the man give money to the Jew? Why would a man give money to a Jew?

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Why isn't Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore? Because he doesn't have a helicopter and he's dead.

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Have ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither has she.

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What's the difference between and train carriage and a miscarriage? You can't eat a train carriage!

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Q: Why can you not thumb up your own comment? A: "You've already voted" douche...

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Who is yellow and cant drive straight. A man dying of lukemia

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A man walks into a bar...so what? People do it all the time.

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I'm gay Mr Goodwin

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies? girl scouts

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I was in the 74th hunger games I hid in the cornucopia until almost everyone was dead. Then I saw Katniss and Peeta so while they were distracted with night lock I pulled a rubber chicken out of my ass and beat the shit out of them till they died then I won the 75th hunger game also. They asked me to be there mocking jay but I killed them all and blew the plane up in the Capitol the end. By Adam Chebali

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A man wakes up in the hospital after being in a car accident. He begins to yell "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor hurries into the room to find out why the patient is yelling. The doctor then promptly explains that this was due to the crash severing his spinal cord and rendering him paraplegic for the rest of his life. The doctor after explaining this states he'll never walk again, before leaving the patient's room.

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Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks why the long face? the horse, incapable of understanding any human dialect, promptly shits on the floor and leaves

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2 corpses are sitting on a bridge one fell down both are dead

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Why did the weird, creepy old man in the beat up van give ice cream to the little girl? Because his company went bankrupt and as part of a court order, he was thereby forced to give away the remaining contents of his inventory to those who seeked it.

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Two guys walk into a bar. They have drinks, pay for them, then get into a car crash killing a mom and her daughter returning home from selecting a wedding dress. The wedding is canceled. Rate This Comment 0

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why can't a blonde count to 70? cause 69 is a mouth full

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IMMA FIND YO ASS DO!!!!!

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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