One night, a heartbroken magician named Jeff went to a bar. Jeff met a nice girl, and they talked and laughed together for hours. After a while, Jeff asked her, "do you want to see a magic trick?" She ate his wiener.

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New groundbreaking research has just revealed today that a complex sentence can be used to manipulate the human mind, so in this sentence somewhere is a psychological amemphism that subconsciously hypnotises the mind into doing something within the next five seconds, and if you read this sentence over and over again, you might just spot it!

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Three french men are in the car wearing sombreros. They're trying to get to Disney World.

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(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

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9/11.

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Why'd Mary fall off her bike? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Mary... O.o

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why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 had a gun.

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What's worst than missing a doctors appointment? Having AIDS and missng out on getting a cure that could have gotten rid of your disease.

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Do you want to hear a joke? No.

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Q. What did the fat man say when he ate a salad? A. Yum.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 7 ate 9!

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

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You know what helps with back pain? If you lick my butt hole.

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How do you make an onion cry? Kill the chef.

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How do you know if a girl is special? If she hates justin bieber, Twilight, and is open to threeways.

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If the Trojan Horse was a deadly deception, is it My Lethal Phony?

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A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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how do you wake up a black man? scream!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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