So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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Whats worse than finding an worm in your apple? 1942 BERLIN

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Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Doctor" "Interrupting Doc-" "You have Cancer'

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How do you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? You find someone you trust and say "an elephant has been in my refrigerator".

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Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

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Tall asians

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Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

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My granddad fell down the stairs the other day... Yeh, we didn't find it very funny either.

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Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

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An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scottishman walks into a bar. They had a good time.

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How do you get Pikachu onto a bus? You ask him politely.

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Knock, knock Who's there? The electrician And about bloody time too, you'd better come in.

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what did the chicken say to the other chicken? nothing, they dont talk.

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Why are anti-jokes funny? They are not because they have no punchline and if you wern't a complete dumbass you would have the ability to read the description on the right off the page.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

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knock knock Person A: who's there Person A: oh shit that was me

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Why couldn't the blonde make ice cubes? Because recently she has been missing payments on the elictric bill because of economic hardships.

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A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

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What's the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck; the other regrets having you as a child.

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How do you pacify Hitler? Give him jews.

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The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

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Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says wow its hot in here the other muffin said HOLY SHIT ITS A TALKING MUFFIN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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