Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I wonder where the hell Hitler is

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a guys was walking down the street in Queens. a attractive young woman walked by. He was interested in here so he said nice things and they ended up going on a date. She had a big butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what did the slave say to the slave owner i like your car

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what is the diffrence between a chinesse man and a japanesse man, one is ruled by a cruel communist leader.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How can you tell when a African man is lying? Like any other person you would use a lie detector.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

ANTONI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A drunk guy walks out of an AA meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha...................... Wats so funny?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happened to your hamster? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a. johns friend said your a towel b. rick replied im obivously not a towel and walked away in discust at his friends stupidity.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body in an accident? He bled to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Paddy Englishmen, Paddy Irishmen and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. They realise that they all share a common name and make a casual joke about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: Why was the little girl not allowed to watch the pirate film? A: Due to the violent scenes and coarse language, her parents decided it was inappropriate.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the black man say to his wife? Nothing, she had died earlier that year after a long battle with cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into bar carrying a nondescript glass bottle of beer. The bartender speaks up in a harsh tone "We don't allow outside drink here buddy! If you're drinking here, you're buying it from here! The man replies, "Oh I'm sorry, it's just that this isn't a normal beer. Every time you take a swig from it, you are granted one wish!" The bartender, who is at this point getting visibly irritated, "I ain't got no time for fairy tales. Screw off!" The man seemingly unfazed by this anger tells him, "I'm not any kind of liar. I have three sips left. You can have them if you want." The bartender snatches the bottle with his unwashed hands from the man. "Fine" he says gruffly "I'll drink your magic beer." He thinks for a brief minute and says to himself, "I wish I had an expensive sports car." and takes a drink from the bottle. No later then a second later, a Ferrari pulls up into the driveway. It is a sleek and dark red color. It was of the latest model and did not have a single scratch whatsoever. The bartender's eyes pop wide open in astonishment and he quickly makes his second wish, "I wish I had a beautiful girlfriend!". And he took another drink. No later than five seconds, A leggy 5'7 blonde bombshell steps out of the entrance. She dons a short white skirt, Long red stiletto heels and a jet black spaghetti strap top. The bartender starts to sweat and looks a little nervous. "And my final wi-EUGHAAAHGGHHH!" The bartender collapses from the floor drooling from the mouth. It turns out that the liquor he was drinking was 180-proof alcohol that his old liver could not take. The blonde woman steps back and lets out a disgusting shriek. "Ewww, this old ugly hobo just ODed on the floor. Can we go somewhere else for drinks Jeremy?" Her boyfriend replies, "Yeah good idea babe. This place looks a trash heap anyway. You deserve better." The couple do not hesitate in stepping into their sleek red Ferrari and driving off. The man who had given the bartender the beer proceeded to check the dead man's pockets and rob it of all of it's contents. Nobody ever caught the man, and not a single person in the bar cared enough about the bartender to call 911. Moral of the story: Magic does not exist and life sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, Violets are blue, What else is new?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A potato walked into a bar and ordered a large bowl of french fries

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops