Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

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What's worse than a bad joke? A joke that end's mid sente--

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What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

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Dear People who are reading this, I am seriously considering suicide. My Mom beats me and my Dad rapes me in the butthole until i bleed. I have no friends and the only way i get my nut off is if it is into a napkin. I often put peanutbutter on my ballsack and have my dog lick it off. It is the only time that i am happy. I have the gun to my head right now and if you wanna talk me out of it. I live in Lincoln, Nebraska. My number is (402)713-9565. Hurry before i run out of time...... and tears. Sincerely, Adam Claypool

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What is cowboy say

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Why does the man hate his job? He thinks working sucks?

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your mommas so stupid she has trouble doing things an average person would manage easily

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1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

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Wizard: If you could get any one thing in the world, what would it be son? Son: Another father that grants more wishes.

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- Helen Keller

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what is the biggest lie in the whole world? -please drink responsibly

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A muslin walks into a bar, and has the same equal rights as everyone else and orders a pint of fosters.

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What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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Q:What does a virgin and a penny both have in common? A:Guys don't want them.

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Whoever said "don't start what you can't finish" hopefully didn't think about having kids Cuz that would be horror Get it?

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fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

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How did the black guy get out of prison? Further evidence in the case was found which proved that the black guy was actually donating blood to a local blood drive for children with leukemia.

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Whats long and hard and women like to suck on them? A popsicle or long lollipop

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Two blondes walk into a bar, but they are then puzzled as the door would not budge open for them.

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What did the African Man get in Africa Aids

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how do you get a clown off a swing i dont know but dont call suzy

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What is the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand.

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What did the circle say to the square? Ur a square

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Well many scientists have theorized that a giant meteor hit the earth causing the extinction of most living things. Also if your christian : Dinosaurs never existed, evolution is the devils work, science is not the answer to the world's problems. Darwin was a foolish man, and thats that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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