Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are numerous things worse than finding a worm in your apple. Some include the holocaust and nuclear warfare

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Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

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there was a pre school teacher and he told the children to draw a squirell. One boy breaks into tears because his entire family was slaughtered by a pack of squirrels. This upset the teacher

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What was going through the minds of the Sandy Hook victims? Bullets.

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Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

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Why did the fireman die? For various reasons,one was because he was burnt alive.

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What is three times more dangerous than war? Three Wars.

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Whats worse biting into an apple and finding a worm? -bidoof

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how did the guy in the wheelchair cross the road he didnt he got dragged down the street cause his chair was hooked to the bus

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whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

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A morbidly overweight baby eats horse poop and dies a slow horrible death

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what does the muslim guy say in a very busy metro station? jaallalalalalalalalla BAM

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whats long, orange, and comes out of brown stuff? -a carrot.

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What's awesome and looks like a pumpkin? An awesome pumpkin.

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What do you call a black fire-fighter? A hero.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to get hit and die

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the man walked into the bar and said ur gay

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you just read an anti-joke

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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Is your daddy a thief? Because he stole my wallet.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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Woman: do u want to watch Snakes on a Plane? Man: sure, what is it about? Woman: It's about a horse on a boat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops