If life gives you lemons, squeeze it in life' s eyes.

What kind of pizza did the world trade center order? Two cheese pizzas.

Nick Cannon

What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust? What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

A dog was barking at a tree

Justin Bieber

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

When life gives you a pack of Kools, make Kool-Aid.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet his friend the horse at a bar

Guy 1: Hey look under there Guy 2: Under what inanimate object that is physically visible and made up of atoms

What do you call a gay Mexican guy who is deaf, has no arms, no legs, and is bald? Whatever his name is.

That moment when the best part of your life is when you get 50 friends on Facebook....

Theres an app for the iPhone.

Whats the difference between a horse and glue? Nothing

What's the difference between a black minister and a white priest? Nothing. We are all equal in the eyes of God.

Why did the girl fall off the swing ? Because she lost her balance and the force of gravity put upon her was too great for her to bear, resulting in her fall.

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

You say tomayto, I say ecstasy.

9 tottenham fans walk into a french bar 2 minutes later French fans attack them saying this is for making our history lessons boring 1 shouts ohh the holocaust French fans ash him even more 5 say there call the jew squard next minute there getting attacked by a bunch of kids and lying that there were 30 neo Nazi men.

what do you call a man with no arms or legs? numerous abusive terms as you kickk him to death.

Whats a frogs favorite year? 2009!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

What'd the black woman say when she met her husband's white mistress? Have you seen Jamal's socks?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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