When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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What's worse than being annal raped by a black man? Well lots of things are but being raped by a guy who has around a 7 inch penis may be hurtful I'm sure being cut open and eaten alive may be worse;)

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What did the cannibal order at McDonalds? Big Mac, extra pickle, hold the mayo.

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hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

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Q. How many puns does it take to make a cup of tea? A. None. A pun is a grammatical construct and as such is incapable of combining the ingredients necessary to generate a hot drink which has been popular for hundreds of years.

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Why did the boy climb the tree? To get to the top. - Driiiftz

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What is x + 12 That is impossible because you can't add letters

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Whats green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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What do you get if you throw a banana at the wall? Nothing.

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A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

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Bee1:Boo Bee2:Boo Look i found 2 boobies:)

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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Q: What did the prostitute ask the officer? A: Where were you stationed? I have a lot of respect for our boys in the Middle East.

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Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

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what is the biggest lie in the whole world? -please drink responsibly

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Worms don't like apples.

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A muslin walks into a bar, and has the same equal rights as everyone else and orders a pint of fosters.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get back before curfew.

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Atheism

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Q-what did the bus say to the other bus? A-nothing, buses are incapable of talking

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two pigs in a bath one says to the other can you pass me the soap..the other replies..do I look like a typewriter!?

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What is brown and sticky? A chocolate ice cream made with too much margarine and not enough of the ice mixture used to make Mr Whippy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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