who is the shortest man in the world? ADITYA DEV

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

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My wife made me a sandwich

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Why was the black guy being talked to by several policemen? Because he was advertising a new renting deal on an apartment downtown and the two policemen were openly gay and have a right to live together.

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Want to hear an anti joke? Me too thats why Im on this site.

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How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

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Q: Why can't Carl drive? A: Carl is a stone

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Whats worse than anal sex Anal sex with razor blades

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Q: what do you call a man eating some chicken ? A: a hungry man (hahahahahahaha.......i should get a life)

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whitney housten was supposed to sing at my funeral... but i dont think thats gonna happen. ;(

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm Scizophrenic And so am I.

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Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

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Why was the clown sad? Because he was found guilty of raping and murdering 33 young men, and sentenced to death for 12 of those murders by a jury of his piers.

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so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he was mentally handicaped

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Daisies are green, poppies are white, I have a headache.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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