what do you call your mama at the gas station

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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i walk into a bar,and then proceed to be taken out because i am a minor -chuckles

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So, there was two successful business men at a social gathering when one leans in to the other to comment, "Hey, that women over there, she looks like your wife!" to which the other one replies, "That is my wife."

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I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night. The handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket.

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Knock Knock! Whos there? Doctor! Doctor who? exactly.. how did you know?

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What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

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A black man, a jewish man and an asian man walk into a bar. They are attending the wake of a friend who died of cancer.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Rhetorical question.

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A boy walk in. What did you think I was gonna add "into a bar"? Also, boys under the age of 21 aren't allowed to drink.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Why do girls not have penises? Because there girls

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What has four legs, but cannot walk? A giraffe with polio.

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Why couldn't Dumbo fly? Because he had just been killed by an African Poacher, and dead elephants can't fly. This is very sad.

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I'd really wanted to design a car, and then craft some sort of prototype dream car and concepts but sadly, I can't even draw a straight line.

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Roeses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Name Is Dave, Microwave

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What happened to the convict on death row? He died

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What do you call two black guys holding up a store? Really strong.

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A man walks into a bar. He enjoys a few quiet drinks with friends before returning home to his loving family.

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PSP its a nut you can play... Outside...

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Here come the elephants over the hill!

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Duck: got any grapes? Lemonade Seller: no the duck waddeld away and never came back for the guy has no grapes

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WTF THINKING: "If you are going trough hell go back to where the path to hell began just get the fuck out of there you stupid dumbass muddaf0cker" "If you feel life is pushing you five steps back for each one you go forward, just turn your fucking back to your goal and you will get there in no time" "Never ever ever ever ever give up" -Fucking inspiring when you just give up after a certain number of "evers" "IT IS BETTER TO REIGN IN HEAVEN THAN TO SERVE IN HEAVEN!" "I forgot the rest" Nero the ONLY moralman (Fuck Neronism and they copying my shit, I am the only psychopath animal theRAPIST in town! (Female animals only, you think I am a pervert or something? Be ashamed you perverted deviant!)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops