What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

What did the man say to the man with no head? You have no head

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

Knock knock. Who's there? Auntie.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

Black people being friendly.

A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock Whose there? Obviously not Suzie.

a guys was walking down the street in Queens. a attractive young woman walked by. He was interested in here so he said nice things and they ended up going on a date. She had a big butt.

Knock knock Who's there? NYPD you are being placed under arrest come out with your hands up.

Roses are red Violets are blue we're going to have sex because i'm stronger than you

you know what hurts, a revolver bullet in your brain.

who is not good looking? mon morello

Yo mama so stupid she was trying to put her M&M's in alphabetical order

Why was the guy stupid? 'Cause he was!

How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

whats worse than 10 babies in a blender 1 baby in 10 blenders

Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a skitsofrantic, and so am I

Have you seen the Hobbit? Yes they're taking him to Isengard

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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