so a man goes to jurrasic park and sees two dinosaurs fighting. he shits himself.

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One day a there was a guy walking down the street. If you thought this was a joke, you're wrong.

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What is red and hangs around the back of a train? A miscarriage.

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What's funny to laugh at dying? JEWS!

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When life gives you lemons you have lemons.

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A pirate walks into a doctors office with ship's wheel attached to his crotch. Pirate: "Arrrrrr, do ya accept Kaiser Permanente?" Doctor: "Yes, but there's a $20 co-pay."

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Why doesn't the fat kid have any friends? Because he is fat.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

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What is three times more dangerous than war? Three Wars.

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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a giraffe walks into a bakery, "can I have 101 brown loafs please?" the baker answers: "hmm I've got only 100 loafs is that ok too?" the giraffe says: "why the hell would I need a 100 loafs?!"

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A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

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why couldnt the man run because he had no legs

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What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

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cats, swimming, northpole ,sky, park , tree , bench, anti joke. shut up you have a skin disease!

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

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What's funnier than a joke book? 2 joke books.

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok,

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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what do you call a black lawyer? a very well educated black man

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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Why is meth so addicting? Why? Hang on, i gotta go do some meth

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a man walks into a bar and buys a drink

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What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? A good example of friendly competition.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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