Roses are gold Violets are blue I am color blind

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was a woman not considered in the role for a stunt driver? Because her skill level was not sufficient enough for the requirements.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

DO NOT CONTACT THE ONES THAT LEFT! I REPEAT DO NOT CONTACT THE NEWCOMERS THAT LEFT! Nero7 was not the only one that became suspicious when we suddenly found thousands upon thousands of new potential members more than willing to join us, many of not most of them, before even learning any essential details about our purpose! While many morons and idiots assumed that Neronism was becoming popular, we all fucking know that we have done everything to keep this all hidden! And then suddenly everything from wealthy people to politicians arrive? No way! Nero7 is with us, and while we have thanks to the hidden camera`s he insisted we install about everywhere except under the goddamn toilet bowls, we have concluded that these people all have similar racial traits, and all speak the same language. Nero7 is barely conscious due to fever, but he keeps pointing at the screen and shouting Russian Spetznas! If this is true, (and to us it sounds Russian and they are obviously very coordinated and no simple grunts) Then we are all screwed... I mean from Nero7`s feverish ramblings and and his database, we can only assume that this is some sort of rogue sub department, of a smaller force than we first assumed, but these guys consist first and foremost of specialized soldiers and hackers... We are scrambling for ideas, exit strategies, while doing our best to get Nero7 out of here, he suggests we question the mercenary that assaulted him which is in prison. I fear we might have to break our ethics and code of honor among many things here, but getting that mercenary out and... Somehow getting answers from him, might be our last hope. Listen "Eliza" if any of you got any Intel at your position, let us know, we are well hidden considering these men that have taken over most of what we can at this point say Was the order, at least the one we knew... Listen, if you got any Intel from your position, let us know, and damn it if these bastards begin killing people, any of you for that matter... ...At this rate the order will end up exposed, and remembered as some terrorist mindwashing religious cult... If you have anything, even ideas, share them with us, damn... All these years with efforts, creating a system of our own... Never hurting a damn fly, it seems like it is all going to end with most of our members getting recruited by a handful of specialized Russians or killed...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's black, white and re(a)d all over ? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Japan is Weird We aren’t saying Japanese people are weird but it’s a fact that the strangest pictures floating around the internet are from Japan.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A black guy walks into a shop, takes a shirt, and then he pays for it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What Do You Call A Fake Noodle? ----An Impastaaa!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

ask me if im a tree are you a tree? yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: When do you know you've had to much to drink? A: When the zebra in your belly button starts talking to you

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's green, [ THIS BIG ] and flies around the room... A remote controlled gherkin!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

cool story babe. now go make me a sammich.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is worse than ending and apple joke in the holocaust? Getting raped by a goat

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Found out the difference between onions and men. I don't cry when I'm chopping up men.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats the difference between a black an white guy? They have different skin tones

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's more fun then spinning a dead baby around on a clothesline at 50 miles an hour? Stopping it with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you scare a brunette? Hide behind a door or wall until the unsuspecting person walks by, then jump out and yell.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why Russians ride bears? Because god hate bears

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's brown and sticky? Anal

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Actually it was me Josh brown

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops