Q:What colors make black? A:Nothing Thats a Shade

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a guy with newmonya? Not good at spelling

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hey Tim lets think of a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the black man perform well? Because he was a well trained musician by the name of Stevie Wonder.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Burger King cashier: Are you on Team Jacob or Team Edward? Man: I'm on team I'm freaking hungry; now give me my food!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did i write this joke knowing i wont get published? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chess grandmaster lose his mind? Because he died of old age.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

56

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call a dinosaur when it gets out of a pool? Wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

thumb_up thumb_down -55

What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The spelling errors on anti-jokes.com

thumb_up thumb_down -101

A blonde goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "That is a worrying symptom," says the doctor, who immediately recommends the woman for a thorough psychiatric assessment.

thumb_up thumb_down -103

how do you stop a baby crying hit it with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

thumb_up thumb_down +34

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: why did Helen Keller's dog kill himself? A: Because he couldn't stand to see his owner suffer through blindness and deafness and being the butt of hundreds of offensive and hurtful jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops