How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

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What is green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree and onto your head? A pool table.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

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Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

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Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Butter. Butter who? Oh, um, sorry i forgot the rest...

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What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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Knock knock Who's there? That that that. What makes you say that?

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A wolf boards a plane with two dead rabbits in his mouth. The flight attendant approaches him and says, "Sir, you can only have one of those on the plane." The wolf bites her throat out.

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What did the little crippled boy get for his birthday? He's an orphan so he doesn't know his birthday.

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A muslim checks in at an airport and gets on a plane. He reads a book about knitting, gets off the plane at France and goes back to his job as a librarian.

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Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

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What do you call a black man on the side of the road? -A black man who needs a ride.

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Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

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Q:How many doorknobs should you throw at a police man? A:None you should have upmost respect for the law.

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot

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Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Q: what is more sad than being alone A: being alone with lots of cats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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