A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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How many women are in the world? a little over 3.2 billion because statistics show that there are roughly 51-52% females in the whole population of humans

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Roses are red, violets are blue That's a fact.

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My dog has no nose." "How does it smell?" "Potato"

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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The big problem with politicians is they're always lying but fortunately there's always a moment when it's not a problem anymore. When they do it down in their tombs.

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What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink? What was the Alzheimer patient favorite drink?

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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What couldn't the Asian drive? Because he had just gotten laser eye surgery, and the doctor recommended that he didn't drive for a few days.

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whats annoying and black? black people

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What is the difference between a botlle of sun lotion and a Mexican? A bottle of sun lotion contains a lotion that protects your skin against the sun, and a Mexican is a person from Mexico.

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Jesus Christ walks into a bar and the bartender says "Holy crap it's Jesus!" and everyone quickly updates their Facebooks.

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Kid 1: "Want a Hurts Doughnut?" Kid 2: "Umm... sure." Kid 1 opens up a box of freshly baked Hurts doughnut from Hurts Bakery and gives one to kid 2

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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What did St. Mary Magdalene tell Pontius Pilate during the crucifixion of Christ? All this chaos is making me CROSS-eyed!

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88

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Whats worse than contracting H.I.V.? nothing

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

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Dick Chaney

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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