How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

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why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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what is not funny? This joke.

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What did the homosexual eat for breakfast? A light meal consisting of fruit and whole grains, so he could keep his weight down.

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Whats orange and has stripes? - a tiger

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What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Why did the one pound coin cross the road? It was stuck up the chickens ass

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What's black and white and red all over? And old fashioned television painted red.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

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how do you make a joke act like yourself

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why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

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Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

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A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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Why do Jewish people like money so much? Because they can exchange it for goods and services

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What is the difference between a botlle of sun lotion and a Mexican? A bottle of sun lotion contains a lotion that protects your skin against the sun, and a Mexican is a person from Mexico.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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