What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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Your mother is so fat.... I am happy to see her join our exercise group.

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Why shouldnt you throw rocks at a black kid on a bike? Because the kid wasn't riding in your way, you could get arrested for assault and battery, and he probably lives in a low income area and cant afford health insurance if he was injured.

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What did the orphan say to the other orphan? Annie is my favorite movie.

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A Woman out of the kitchen

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Bobby got a new bike there are black kids in bobby's neighborhood bobby doesnt have a new bike anymore

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being cut in half by a human while you were trying to eat an apple

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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What do you call an animal who is purple and feeds on grass? Well his name is Timmy, he is a 6 year old boy and has been diagnosed with a rare deadly disease that turns his skin purple and has removed him so far from reality that he has begin to feed on his front lawn.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

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You walk in to your room. 7 chickens on your bed.

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Person 1: Your Ugly Person 2: Your mom's ugly

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A rhinoceros walks into a bar. As it felt threatened by the presence of many humans, the rhino attacks and kills several people with the big horn on its nose.

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Knock knock! Whos there? Me. Now open the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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