What did the father tell his son who was caught stealing from the teacher? --The father didn't say anything because he walked out on his family when the children were born.

What did the sad orphan with liver cancer get for Christmas? Pictures of dead babies to put things in perspective.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

A gay man walks into McDonald's. McDonald's serves people of all sexualities.

Why do rabbits have such a reputation for rampant reproduction? Sex feels extra good for rabbits.

your mama so jewish ( fat ) she had to take up two seats on the plane to fly here in the end there was no chocolate left she was taking up the whole plane space.

David Cameron

Why did the Asian man go into space? Because he was an astronaut.

I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

Why does Rupert The Bear wear checkered trousers? Because he's a twat.

What's worse than having two girlfriends at once? Seven. Seven girlfriends.

Your mom is so fat... That you inherited type one diabetes.

If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

A wild Snorlax appeared crushing several members of the community

2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

why was the carrot sad? it was stuck in an antelopes anus

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was already in the oven.

if life gives you melons, then you're most likely dyslexic.

I like it it the butt -Tyler James Nehring call me 863-670-1547

what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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