Q: Why does Bill Gates give so much money to charity? A: Because he wants to improve the lives of his fellow human beings, and also excessive wealth would be detrimental to his children.

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How do you make your friends more positive ? Infect them with HIV.

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What do humans and fish both have in common? They both live underwater, apart from humans.

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I chop up an onion.

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What did the horse say to the farmer who tried to feed him hay soup? I don't like that.

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Q: Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? A: A burglar

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A circus clown climbs to the top of a five-storey ladder and dives into a foot-deep pool of water below. His neck is broken on impact. RIP Chuckles.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing ? Because she lost her balance and the force of gravity put upon her was too great for her to bear, resulting in her fall.

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What's purple and glows? An electric grape

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what's a fish with no eyes and out of water? its just a fish

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Q: what do u call a plane that flies A: a plane

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What happends to a monkey without arms.. He bleeds..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am ADD Bird

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What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple? Rape and child abuse.

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Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

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What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

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A goose walks into a bar. Maybe he should have ducked.

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Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face" The horse responds "My daughter has cancer"

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A man walks into a bar and gets drunk. He then goes home and proceeds beating his many wives in a drunken fit of rage.

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What goes 100 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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I hate Jews The Holocaust

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What's clear and wet?? Water (I think)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops