Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

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STOP BULLYING FAT PEOPLE. They have enough on their plate

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My family is dead

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Q: what is an anti-joke? A: Coffee Volvos

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One time at band camp.............that's it........

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What did the vegitarian order for brunch. VEGITARIANS DONT BELIEVE IN ICE CREAM>

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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a cop wrote most of these anti-jokes O.o

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Why you don't laught when you see a black guy on a scooter? Because it could be your.

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Oh, go away

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What does Mr. Newell have? - Diabetes. Mr. Newell has diabetes.

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A guy walks into a bar and says "ouch!" The bartender says "are you okay?" "Yeah I just stubbed my toe" Then the guy walks it off, and then orders a drink.

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A black man got sentenced go prison for stealing a car. He didn't do it.

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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What do silly people in a monastery say? stop munkying around.

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Koalas mum is a slut

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Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

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What happened to the guy that took to many lunesta pills? He fell asleep but he was glad it was the weekend or he would have been late for his job

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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John: Knock Knock! Bill: Who's there John: John Bill: Oh hey John, come in

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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