Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Hello Justin, please come in.

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If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You were adopted and I couldn't think of a good way to tell you...

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A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is.." "'Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is' who?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

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One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're daughter has terminal cancer.

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A: What did the orphan get for christmas? Q: Nothing she doesn't have any parents

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Guess what? AIDS!

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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"Look me in the eye" said Cyclops.

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What is so bad about a black jew. They have to sit in the back of the gas chamber

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Johny wanted a pogo stick for his birthday. Johny's mom got him a pogo stick for his birthday. The day of Johny's birthday, he fell off the pogo stick and broke his arm.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? Impaired of vision.

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why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

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Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

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Yo momma's so black, when yo poppa rides her, he says "Look! I'm Hiccup!"

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Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

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If woman that have big breasts work at Hooters, then do woman with one leg work at Ihop?

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Whats a dogs favorite thing to eat? Food.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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whats bloody and mingen Scabbaz head

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops