If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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What did the biscuit say when he saw his friend get run over? Oh my god. Dave, are you ok? Somebody call an ambulance.

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What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

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What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? Quarter pounder with cheese.

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Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

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You scream I scream We all screamed when the chicken crossed the road

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why are jews so cash hungry? because like the rest of us they are looking for a way to survive and feed their family.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy Wuzzy died of cancer

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was wandering because he was lost and got hit by a car in the process.

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- Why Justin Bieber can't login to Facebook? - Because he forgot the password.

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What did the Atheist say to priest? Evolution

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? "Robin, get in the batmobile!"

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Suzie was in a traumatizing accident resulting in her arms getting cut off. Knock Knock? Whos There? Not Suzie.

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Why was a black person on the run, being trailed by police officers? They were all late to work; their work places were coincidentally situated near each other.

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What's the only think duct tape can't fix? Your parents divorce.

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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Once upon a time, a duck named Jim went to work, he went up to the steps to his new job and and he was paid all day to sit in a hot tub. Little did he know it was a boiling pot and he was served at Christmas dinner

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whats worse than taking a refrigerator to the face? the holocaust and AIDs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops