How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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What's green and has wheels? A cucumber with wheels.

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Q: How did Muhamid Ali ( casius clay ) get a black eye? A: He was born

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Why did Sally fall of the Swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

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Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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Why didn't the man enter the bus driven by a black man ? It wasn't going where the man had to go.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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A man walks around a bar.

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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Knock knock

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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