I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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How fast is the speed of sex? 70 mph, minimum 40 mph

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Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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Skittles are tasteless. Why? You can't taste the rainbow.

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: Banana! B: Not you again..(slams door)

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Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence Awkward silence who? ...

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

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Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

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Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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Guess what? Chicken butt! No I have aids, you might want to get yourself tested

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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A black man and a hispanic man are riding in a car. Who's driving? The hispanic man

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a 12 year eld Maxican girl is aksed to spell the werd newmonia she gets it rite and wins the spalling beef which makes me sad bcuz English is my forst langage and i still dont get it and im 25

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Boom.

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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why does crazy george spin a ball on his fingers well? because he has a huge dingo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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