What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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whats worse than ten dead babies in one trashcan? one dead baby in ten trashcans

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Why did the pollock jump into the sea? A pollock is a fish.

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they dont make sense. Refrigerator.

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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What's worse than women's rights? Actually, not much, because women throughout history suffered for too long the hardships of over dominant male figures and deserve the freedoms they have achieved today.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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I just lost the game where if you think about the game then you lose the game. so did you.

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Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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roses are red violets are blue you look like a monkey lets take you to the zoo if by chance you try to escape ill take my fist and smash your little monkey face! btw i made this up if you use it ill kick your nuts!!!!

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Knock, Knock The door's open

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What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

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Gale swallows.

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What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops