What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

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What do you call a donkey walking backwards a confused donkey

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Roses are red It's 4 in the morning I have full blown aids I'm going to bed now, this is boring

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What did the priest do when he noticed the young boy bent over picking up crayons he had dropped? He helped him pick them up

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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(Q) Why did the little boy cross the road? (A) To get to the police officer. (Q) Why did the little boy need the police officer? (A) because he was raped.

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What kind of animal eats and pisses on everything? Your mother. -Avery Vartanian

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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Why didn't Tommy walk to school? 'Cause he was in a wheelchair..

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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I have sex daily, I mean dyslexia.

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whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

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One aardvark says to the other aardvark, "Hi." The other aardvark says, "Ahh! A talking aarkvard."

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Why didn't Betty ride her bike to school? She had no legs.

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what the hell happened to your face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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