Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

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What jew get for christmas? Your money.

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Q:Ask me my name. A:What is your name? A:Hey why do you need to know that?

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Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.

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Whats the difference between a circle and a peace sign? Three lines!

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"I can't wait to eat this bagle!" "Yes you can." "Yeah, I guess you're right."

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What's black without keys. A keyboard after you hit it with a shovel.

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Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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Q:What are black basketball players good at? A:Running,shooting and stealing.

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What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

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Why are you asleep? Because I'm tired.

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There are two muffins in the oven. One muffin says to the other "phew it's kinda hot in here" the other muffin says "AWW a talking muffin!"

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

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In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

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teacher: what comes after 69? johnny: mouthwash teacher: get out.

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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i said wut wut in the butt!

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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