I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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Chuck Norris was walking down the street when he was confronted by an armed, very desperate street robber. Chuck unfortunately made the decision to defend himself, and was shot in the gut before he could complete a roundhouse kick. The robber then took his wallet and ran off, undoubtedly to buy drugs.

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How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

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A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

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What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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How can you kill a blonde? Hack her to bits.

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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What cheese is not yours? The one that you didn't buy.

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you momas so fat, you momas so ugly Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great Salvador Dali mistook them for cloth.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

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why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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Where do bananas come from? Mexico

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

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Q: What do you call an aligator in a vest A: Investigator

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what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

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Emo Girl: Whats Your Favorite song? Regulor Girl: Something Carrie Underwood sing!(: Emo Girl: Are you retarted? Regulor Girl: Well im not the one who loves Emos .-. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Honstley, I didnt right this my cousin told me to wriget this... i think its stupied... And Yes, Ima Emo but im not trying to judge people if there emo or not! :D Luv ya! -Angel- <3

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What did the phone say to the telephone? I can't connect with you.

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What did the homeless get for Christmas? Nothing By Nathaniel c

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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what did the girl trapped in the fire say? help

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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