FIRE!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's funnier than House? Family Guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock, Knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

thumb_up thumb_down -47

a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

A man walks into a bar He says ouch

thumb_up thumb_down -123

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -165

Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

thumb_up thumb_down +106

A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

Religion

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Your mom is so...wonderful.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

what do you call skiediving? a very fun but moderatly dangerouse sport that many people have fun doing from the ages of 19 to 31

thumb_up thumb_down +62

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do you call a black guy eating fried chicken? His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Two people on a boat, Pete and Repete. Pete fell off and Repete radioed the Coast Guard, who sadly got there just in time to watch him drown to his death.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Jay cut his hair? Because he has AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops