you know what they say... hydrate or die

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What did the black man do with the woman's purse? Safely returned it to her

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Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? Nothing. They are both created in God's image and likeness so get your mind outta the gutter!

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Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

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Your d*ck is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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A man walks into a bar He says ouch

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Who is a nazi? • Theo Kingdom

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What did the lawyer get for Christmas? More paper work

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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Where do bananas come from? Mexico

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops