Three nuns walk into a bar. They realize they are in a place they don't want to be, so they leave, casting furtive glances around, fearing that someone from their congregation will see them and think they went in to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What looks and sounds just like a seagull ? A seagull.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

My grandmother always use to tell me "slow and steady wins the race." Well, that was before she died in a house fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why shouldnt you throw rocks at a black kid on a bike? Because the kid wasn't riding in your way, you could get arrested for assault and battery, and he probably lives in a low income area and cant afford health insurance if he was injured.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Susie is 14 & she never listens to her mom, why is that? She's deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Which came first the egg or the chicken? The chicken because eggs can't cross the road

thumb_up thumb_down -75

What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

thumb_up thumb_down +104

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What did the school bully get for his birthday? Beaten by his alcoholic father. Children are a product of their environment and his father's abusive nature towards his son forced the young boy to act out in class giving him the reputation of a bully.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Know what's funny? Jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops