why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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What's 6 inches long, held in your hand, and has a round tip? A pencil you pervert.

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What did the man say to the attractive female bartender as he left the bar? Well, it's been fun but I hate you so I'm leaving to kill your entire family.

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What's the worst part about male roller blading? AIDS.

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Are you from Tennessee? cuz i wanna makeout with your face.

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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a horse walks in to a bar and the bar tender asks, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because it is a horse and is confused by its surroundings and then gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables as it makes its escape.

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Yo mammas so fat she went on a diet.

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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It's raining, it's pouring The old man is snoring He went to bed, he bumped his head Got a brain hemorrhage and died in his sleep.

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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Why did the chiken cross the road. Anwer: because it was being chased by a crazy horny/ kinky redneck.

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a little boy told his friend he failed a test.. the friend replied that his parents r goin to kill him... to save himself the suffering ...the boy hung himself in his closet

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whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

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penis

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What did the black boy get for christmas? An Xbox.

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Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

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There was a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Gay Man on a plane. The plane was going down. The Priest said "amen". The Rabbi said "amein". The Gay Man put his penis in the rabbi's asshole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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