Why was the old lady hard of hearing? She spent many of her young days blasting hard rock from her speakers/

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

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How many days did abraham lincoln take a crap for? Turquoise because pancakes cannot fly without wings during the summer unless giraffes smell pineapple on tuesday.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have a gun BANG!

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?. I dont know either it was dark.

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Do you know what's fun about having sex with twenty-seven year-olds? There are twenty of them.

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your momma's so stupid she shot herself

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What is green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree and onto your head? A pool table.

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Why didn't Helen Keller have headphones? Because they weren't invented

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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make me a sandwich!

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a Cheetah? A yellow Chuck Norris with black spots.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

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whats annoying and black? black people

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what's the difference between natives and dogs? people enjoy having dogs in their houses

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if a white guy, a black guy and a hispanic guy jump off a 10 story building, who hits the ground first? the man who jumped first. racist.

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Women's rights.

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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America Votes

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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