How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

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why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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Wat do you do when you see aomeone bleeding on the ground? Walk away and act like nothing happened

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Q:What's the difference between a pinata and a baby? A: One I hang from a tree and beat to death and the other one is a pinata..

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -.......

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Why was the asian boy get straight A's? He paid attention during class, took good notes, studied at home, and had a personal drive that lead him to be a good student.

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What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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What do you call a boy that fell off a ferry? Extremely unlucky, since one of the other passengers noticed and the captain turned the ferry around, threw him a ladder, and pulled him aboard. Also he died of hepatitis because his mother was too poor to afford condoms, so he was born with it.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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what do giraffes have that other animals don't have? -baby giraffes

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acuna

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What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

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what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

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whats white and smells like black paint? nothing, white paint even though it is still paint has a slightly different smell due to the difference in dye colors used to make it

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Nothing...cause she died

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Women's rights.

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What happened to the blonde that died her hair brown? Her hair turned brown.

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Sarah Palin

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how long does it take for a black woman to poop? depending on what she ate, about 5 to 10 minutes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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