Why was the Jewish man put to death? Because he was convicted by a jury of his peers in a fair trial overseen by a judge in good standing in a United States court for 12 counts of homicide

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Viciously beating your children with other recently beaten children.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

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Yo mamma is so pretty, she is frequently complimented on her good looks.

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What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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Why did i write this joke knowing i wont get published? I don't know.

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Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Hey, where'd my tractor go?

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

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guy 1... "do you no any funny jokes?" guy2 ..."no" guy1 ..."same"

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Q. Why do Puerto Ricans throw their trash away in clear plastic bags? A. So Italians can go window shopping.

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Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

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what smells like red paint but is blue paint?

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the world series? No Cubs!

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? - "Robin, get in the Batmobile"

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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Q: What did my uncle Tom say when he first encountered my friend Richard Jefferson? A: Hello

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what did luke say to darth vader? Can i borrow ur car please.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops