Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

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Q: why did the girl fall off the swing?? A: because she had no arms or legs.

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Roses are der, Violets are lube, I am dyslexic.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman immediately calls the local stable to report the missing stallion, and his owner promptly arrives to take him home. He thanks the landlord and offers a small reward, but it is respectfully declined.

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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The joke above me is a wind-up, losers :P

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who did the strait guy marry? a woman

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? Because it Died

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Why did the fat man fall faster than the skinny man? He didn't. Masses does not affect the speed of falling objects. Everything with mass and volume falls with an acceleration of 9.81m/s^2 on Earth. Therefore the greater mass of the heavier man did not affect his falling speed. Both men fell at the same speed.

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Hey guess what an antijoke is. What? a joke Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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One day a horse goes to a bakery store and asks the shopkeeper for a fresh loaf of bread. Surprised at the request the shopkeeper asked - White bread or whole wheat? To which the horse replied - Makes no difference cause i rode my bicycle to work yesterday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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