240

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Knock Knock Who's there? Father Dougal Mcguire

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A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

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Q: What do a dildo salesman and a car salesman have in common? A: They are both salesman

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Why was Jenny walking home alone from school? Because three years ago her parents were murdered brutally by a drug dealer and social services haven't yet realised that Jenny is still living in the empty house.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Why did Dumbledore fall off the astronomy tower? Because Snape killed him.

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A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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The Colts this year.

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Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

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A cow walks into a bar and says, "moo."

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What does chuck norris do at 4 o clock in the morning ? Sleep

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why is billy g is really supid because he gets bad grades

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Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

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How many women are in the world? a little over 3.2 billion because statistics show that there are roughly 51-52% females in the whole population of humans

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What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

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Obama.

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Q: If I have 13 icecubes, and you have 12 icecubes, how many pancakes can I fit on the roof? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What's the difference between difference and between? One is different and the other between.

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Why did the woman keep getting sexually harassed while calling for her lost dog? Her dog is named "Ilovedicks."

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these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

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Your mother is so fat.... I am happy to see her join our exercise group.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? -I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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How many blondes does it take to dye their own hair black and act in an intelligent, sensible manner?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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