I got 99 problems... and an indeterminate number of them are bitches.

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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Oxygen and magnesium are going out OMG Think science the you might get it If not O oxygen mg magnesium

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What did the deaf Jewish Rabbi say to the Italian Priest. What?

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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What runs faster than a nigger with a stolen tv? His brother with the remote

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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Why did the girl buy wine? She was hosting a party for four of her closest friends.

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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Knock knock Who's there? Labrinth Come in

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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Knock Knock "Who's There?" *No answer* The man proceeds to go on with his life

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What rhymes with you? You.

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Did you hear about the guy who fell off the mountain? Oh, well he died

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Why did the women hit the telephone pole? There are many theories but one suggests that it is due to womens statistically lower cognitive spacial reasoning abilities.

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Why did the aeroplane engine fallon the house? Because of Donnie Darko

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what has green paint and flies? a garbage truck

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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