You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

There was a Mexican in a bomb shop ?

Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

these jokes are terrible, even for anti-jokes

Three nuns accidentally walked in to a bar and so they immediately went out.

whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

Q: What's the difference between an African American and a bench? A: An African American is a human being of black dissent, while a bench is an inanimate object that people sit on.

What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? It's a meaningless question because animals had been creating eggs for millions of years before chickens ever evolved.

What happens when you throw a cricket bat at a blonde? She is hurt and reports you to the police for anti-social behaviour.

What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

America Votes

Knock Knock. who's there? It's me. you need to be specific...

What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

Q: What did the diddler say to the little boy? A: Can i touch you inappropriately?

why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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