Why did the boy on stilts pick up the phone? Because it was ringing.

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Knock Knock Who's there? me oh

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

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A Woman out of the kitchen

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I love my valentine <3 Hes mine no matter what anyone says <3 Cause i love him with all my heart <3

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a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

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Your mother is so dumb. It's a good thing she knows sign language.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scottishman walk into a gay bar. And why shoudn't they.

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what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

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Richard fell off of a cliff. He can fly.

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? A n a l

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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a man walks into a bar he is an alcohol and it's ruining his family

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26.5% of Americans are obese.

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What's the most stupid thing you have ever heard? Woman's Studies.

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What did one muffin in the oven say to the other muffin Nothing food doesn't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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