- Anti Joke

A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

What body part did German prince Heinrich von Missingpenis lack? His toenail.

Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

I was gonna tell a gay joke Butt fuck it.

What do you call a black airline pilot? An airline pilot.

What do a blueberry and a raspberry have in common? They are both commonly used in parfaits.

Why didn't the 9-year-old girl go to school on monday? Because she lived in a country where women don't have rights and was traded as a commodity for 2 pigs to be a wife for a 43 year old man.

Why was six afraid of seven? Back in middle school, they were both friends. They hung out every day and always had the best fun. It wasn't until their baseball team made it to the junior championship. That was when seven started doping for better strength and endurance for the game. Sevens family and friends (Especially six,) Had started to notice a change in sevens behavior and he seemed more distant from any social relationships with others. Seven began to become angry and self centered and only seemed to be focused on the game. Seven found out that Six knew that he was doping and fought him and brutally injured Six. Seven was then found out by the coaches and was kicked off the team. Seven, knowing that he had ruined his whole life, Shot himself with his dads .38 Revolver.

How do you feed 1000 people? Cook 1000 meals .

Sometimes sentences just don't end the way that you think they potato

Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

What does a dyslexic person do on sundays? Goes to church to pray to Dog

Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

Why was a white man surrounded by black men crying? He was in a support group for black men with vitiligo, which destroys skin pigments.

An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

Everything's looking fine, ma'am. Hope to see you again real soon.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

how do you stop a baby from crying? hit it with a brick.

a horse walkes into a bar... never mind that's just Sarah Jessica Parker

What do you call a man named Mark? Mark

poop.

Q. Which is longer ... a rope ?

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far from its body.