What did the old man say to kid who was begging to his mommy? Shut up.

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Q: What did the clam say to the postman? Moral: "Hey its me the worlds only talking clam! How you doing dude!"

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Owl." "Interrupting Owl who?"

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Doctor, doctor, I have a cavity! Go to the dentist.

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roses are red violets are blue this verse doesn't ryhme and neither does this one

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What did the black man get for Kwanza? AIDS

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What's the funniest thing about this website? Everyone thinks their fucking hilarious because they keep making jokes about Sally who has no goddamn arms and little kids with terminal cancer

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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What do you call a black man eating dessert? A man of African ancestry enjoying a sweet treat.

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What happened to the seal that walked into the zoo? Well nothing because seals can't walk.

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I'm tired of hearing Holocaust jokes, Anne Frankly I'm disappointed.

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What do you get if you cross an angle with an antelope? An anglelope.

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Thomas Hobbes had a happy life. Actually he didnt, he was born prematurely causing his mother to die. Then his dad left him at an early age to the care of an abusive older brother because he was an alcohollic. He did inspire many political beliefs though

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Knock Knock Who's there? The IRS. You've been convicted of tax evasion.

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What's brown and sticky? A Mexicans underwear.

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Q. Pete and Repeat were sitting on a wall. Repeat fell off. Which one was left? A. Pete. Yep.

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What is the difference between a bike and a baby? There are a lot of differences

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What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? No one laughs at your jokes.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had celebral palsy.

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Mum makes $97 per hour working online? Offline I can see , but online, mmm pull the other one, it plays lossless codecs

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Whats the opposite of purple? Your adopted

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What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

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what do you say to a black guy on steroids? B!tch please

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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