a. johns friend said your a towel b. rick replied im obivously not a towel and walked away in discust at his friends stupidity.

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Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

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An astronaut, a nun and a fireman walk into a bar. They all order something to drink as they have all had a busy day.

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One time, I called the police, but it was actually a fire. So my neighbors died.

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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Three guys walk into a bar.....The fourth one ducks...

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Why did the cookie die Because a fat kid was hungry

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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what did the indians give the pilgrims? syphylis

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Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

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What's cool about a dead fish? Nothing.

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How did the little boy fall off his bycicle? Prior to this incident, a psychopathetic killer murdered his family. Therefore, to escape the killer, the boy got onto his bycicle in hopes of manuvering away from the threat. Since it was nighttime he did not notice the fault in the asphalt.( No ryhme intendid.) From flipping over his handlebars, he fell unconcious. Upon the killer spotting the boy, he sliced his head off and left the scene to not be spotted by police.

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How can you tell when a African man is lying? Like any other person you would use a lie detector.

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two hippo's were in the lake. The water was up to their eyes. What did one hippo say to the other? I don't know why but i keep thinking it's tuesday.

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what is the diffrence between a chinesse man and a japanesse man, one is ruled by a cruel communist leader.

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A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A little boy who can't reach the doorbell.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Doctor" "Interrupting Doc-" "You have Cancer'

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Q: Whats about two feet in width and length with purple veins throbbing at the sides? A: A midget slowly dying of frostbite

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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What did pinocchio want to become? Hepatitus free.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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